[Engine Starts]
[Engine Revs]
[Engine Idling]
[Air Brakes Hiss]
♪♪ [Country]
[Man]
♪ You heard about the legend
of Jesse James ♪
♪ And John Henry
just to mention some names ♪
♪ Well, there's
a truck-drivin' legend
in the South today ♪
♪ A man called Bandit
from Atlanta, G.A. ♪
♪ Every gearjammer
knows his name ♪
♪ They swear he got ice water
runnin' in his veins ♪
♪ A foot like lead
and nerves like steel ♪
♪ He's gonna go to glory
ridin' 18 wheels ♪
♪ Oh, boy ♪
♪ He left Atlanta back in '63 ♪
♪ Haulin' him a load
up to Tennessee ♪
♪ He hit Monteagle
in a drivin' rain ♪
♪ So hard he couldn't even
see the passin' lane ♪
♪ Well, he started down-gradin'
when he lost a gear ♪
♪ He hit them brakes
Found he had no air ♪
♪ The Monteagle grade is
steep and long ♪
♪ And everybody that seen it
thought the Bandit was gone ♪
♪ Aw, son ♪
♪ Well, his truck jackknifed
Turned completely round ♪
♪ He was coming down backwards
about the speed of sound ♪
♪ A lot of folks seen him,
and they all say ♪
♪ He had his head out the window
yellin', "Clear the way" ♪
♪ Well, he got to the bottom
safe and sound ♪
♪ Everybody asked Bandit
how he made it down ♪
♪ He said, "Folks ♪
♪ When the truck picked up
too much speed ♪
♪ I just run along beside it
and then drug my feet" ♪
♪ You heard the legend
of Jesse James ♪
♪ And John Henry
just to mention some names ♪
♪ Well, there's
a truck-drivin' legend
in the South today ♪
♪ A man called Bandit
from Atlanta, G.A. ♪
♪ Every gearjammer
knows his name ♪
♪ They swear he's got ice water
runnin' in his veins ♪
♪ A foot like lead
and nerves like steel ♪
♪ He's going up to glory
ridin' 18 wheels ♪
♪ Aw, tell me, boy ♪
♪ Talk to me, guitar ♪♪
[Metal Tapping]
[Man]
Hey, Kirk,
how ya doing?
Tod Engels.
How are ya?
This your rig,
son?
Yeah.
Open her up.
Let's see the manifest.
Well, placin' you
under arrest...
for transportin'
alcoholic beverages...
across state lines without
the proper permits.
And that means,
you dumb cowboy,
you know truckin' Coors beer
east of Texas is bootleggin'.
This here's Georgia, son.
Why, it's just
a friendly bet.
These, uh, two old boys,
they put me up to it.
Now, when you gonna learn?
Big and Little Enos Burdette
make that same bet
with every gearjammer they can.
I say he ain't gonna go
for your game.
Son, from what
I've heard,
the biggest thing
about the Bandit
is his ego.
And I figure that,
plus a lot of my dollars,
and he'll try anything,
legal or not.
[Man On P.A.]
Well, sir, now...
they have put on
quite a show for us today,
haven't they, friends?
Yes, sir, you have seen
some of the finest gear jamming
in all of this country.
Remember, these are boys
that make the long haul.
They really did it today.
And remember, friends,
you got to...
Hoss, uh,
where might I find
the Bandit?
I ain't seen him.
Over there
behind his rig.
Who wants to see him?
Who's askin'?
I'm askin'.
'Cause I'm the guy
payin' him $25 a day...
so all his loyal fans
can look at him.
Do it.
I'm buyin'
your attraction
for a half an hour.
♪♪ [Country]
Egotistical son of a bitch.
Any guy that would paint
his truck like this...
would go to
a minister's funeral
dressed in feathers.
See, son,
old legends never die.
They just lose weight.
Seems like a legend
and an out-of-work bum
look a lot alike, Daddy.
[Laughs]
Bandit,
me and my son are here.
[Laughs]
Oh, I love your suits.
It must be a bitch
gettin' a size 68 extra fat
and a 12 dwarf.
I came to make a deal.
Uh, what's he get
if he wins this truck
rodeo thing?
[Bandit]
If?
$5,000, Daddy.
Chicken shit money.
Just what the hell
you want, anyway?
You to get out
of this dumb-ass rodeo
and accept a real challenge.
[Bandit]
Now, gettin'
to Texarkana and back...
in 28 hours,
that's no problem.
It ain't never
been done before,
hot shit.
Watch your language,
little lady.
The problem is
that Coors beer...
You take that east
of Texas, and that's, uh...
that's bootleggin'.
You know,
I believe you're just
a little bit scared.
That's great psychology.
Why don't you just say
somethin' bad about my mother?
Your mama is so ugly...
Now, look, look.
You make this run for me...
Now, these Peterbilts
here are worth $80,000.
That comes to about
three grand an hour,
if you make it in 28 hours.
How about that
for a challenge?
Dad, I don't believe
that that's necessary.
Never mind.
Wait a minute.
Why do you want
that beer so bad?
Because he's thirsty,
dummy.
[Big Enos]
You see, I got a boy
runnin' tomorrow...
in the Southern Classic,
and, uh...
when he wins, I want to
celebrate in style.
How much style?
Well, I got a few friends
and me. Uh, 400 cases.
[Mouthing Words]
[Big Enos]
Well?
Well, let me see your cash.
Big Enos's word is gold.
All right,
show him the cash.
Go ahead, Little.
Shit!
Well, let's see, there's,
uh, 400 cases of beer.
I'll need the cash for that.
No problem.
Go ahead, boy.
New car.
I've got to have a new car
to block for the truck.
Okay, go ahead, boy.
I'd like to kick his ass
just once.
Speedy car.
Speedier than that.
Go ahead.
[Imitates
Horse Whinny]
[Horn Honking]
Hello, darlin'.
Hi, Uncle Bandit.
Which one
of the house apes are you?
Kate.
Oh, he's dropping them
like flies, isn't he?
Well, well, well.
Hello, beautiful.
How about gorgeous?
You can't have him.
Well, obviously you can.
You tryin' to start
another race?
[Child Laughs]
Hey, look, Bandit.
Look, look, look.
You got Cledus in jail once.
Leave us alone.
Hi, Uncle Bandit.
Hello, Silus.
He ain't
your damned uncle.
Recognize you, little devil.
One of you damn kids get
this mutt outta here.
- 'Cause you always kick me
right in the ball.
- Damn it, Bandit! Look at me.
I find it hard to look at
you, Waynette. Very hard.
Especially when you've got
those things in your hair.
Makes me think you're listening
to a radio station in Savannah.
You can't go in there
and bother Cledus. Hey!
This is my home.
Cledus.
No.
I know in the past
I may have done you wrong.
Right?
Right.
However, in the future, Cledus,
I will never ever do you
wrong again, right?
Right.
Yeah.
Now. We have a big chance,
a big chance to make
a run worth big bucks.
80,000 of 'em.
Oh, really?
Mm-hmm.
What we gotta do, kidnap
the pope or somethin'?
How'd you guess? Ha. No.
We're just gonna run over
to Texarkana and pick up
400 cases of Coors...
and bring it back
in 28 hours.
[Grunts]
Whoa, I got
a flash for you.
That's called bootleggin',
and that's against the law.
Well, who gives a turkey
when the Snowman and the Bandit
are runnin' the booze?
No one can stop us.
Hold it right there.
There ain't gonna be no more
Snowman and Bandit.
You understand that?
Why?
Well, because I've got
to go in the mornin'
to Conyers...
and pick up
a load of manure.
Shitty job.
Can I ask you a question?
Sure. Ask me.
What the hell we want to go
to Texas for and haul beer
back here? What is that?
For the good old
American life.
For the money, for the glory
and for the fun.
Mostly for the money.
Now, you know what we're
gonna do when we get the
money? Hmm?
What?
We're gonna buy a new rig.
You're crazy,
you know that?
Yeah.
You know that?
[Laughs]
Yes.
How much money
did you say it was?
$80,000.
Mm-hmm.
Waynette!
Now, Bo, I'm tellin' ya,
Fred here, ain't gonna be
no problem.
Well, I can see
he's gonna be a major asset.
And besides that,
he's one hellacious
watchdog.
Well, let's get goin'.
Uh, whoa.
Uh, hold it a minute.
What?
[Stammers]
Can I ask you a question?
Sure.
Sit right there, Fred.
You mean to tell me we're
gonna drive from here...
to Texarkana, Texas,
and back to here
in 28 hours?
It's only 900 miles there
and 900 miles back.
Well, for your information,
that ain't never been done,
not in no rig.
That's 'cause you and I ain't
never done it in no rig.
You gotta stop thinkin'
so negative, son.
'Course we can make it.
We ain't never
not made it yet, have we?
No.
You see?
There you are.
Yeah. Yeah, I see.
I see, all right.
I see our asses in a sling
if we get caught,
that's what I see.
[Engine Revs]
Whoa, ho,
ho, hey. Whoa!
Well, God almighty,
would you look at that.
[Laughs]
Beautiful, huh?
Honey, hush.
Well, I don't guess
we goin' be ridin' in the truck
together this time out.
Oh, no, son. No, son.
I'll be drivin' this one.
Hey, yeah.
Blocker.
You'll be drivin' the truck.
This is Bandit 1 and that is...
Uh, Bandit 2.
Mm-hmm.
Together again.
Oh, yeah.
Like, uh,
Fred and Ginger
and Lester and Earl.
That's right,
but we got a problem.
What's that?
Now, you know, them smokeys,
they got them C.B.'s
in their car now.
You know that?
I know that.
Haven't worked that out yet,
but I'm thinkin' about it.
Hey.
You got an idea?
I got an idea.
Yeah.
Why don't we do this?
If I say go to channel 21,
forget it.
We ain't goin' to 21.
We're goin' to 19.
21 is 19?
21 is 19.
If I say go to channel six,
forget it. We go to three.
I don't go to six,
I go to three.
Go to three.
If I say go to channel two,
we're gonna go to channel one.
Two is one.
See,
that'll confuse everybody.
That'll confuse 'em.
[Laughs]
On the other hand, if we stayed
on the odd channels...
Yeah.
switched every time
and started in the basement,
that'd work too, huh?
That'd do it too, wouldn't it?
Well, yeah, yeah,
that'd work too, I guess.
Let's haul ass.
[Engine Starts]
[Tires Squealing]
[Engine Revs]
[Tires Squealing]
[Fred Barking]
Breaker one, breaker one,
this is the Bandit.
Is the Snowman out there?
Am I hittin' ya, son?
Mercy sakes! Mercy sakes!
You put about
eight and a half on me.
Blowin' my windows out.
Bring it on.
I'll be within earshot.
You keep her wound up
to around 90.
10-4.
Hey, Bandit, me and Fred's
got a question.
What do you
and Fred want?
How come we doin' this?
- Well, why not?
- Well, they said
it couldn't be done.
- Well, that's the reason, son.
- That's good with Fred.
We're clear.
[Laughs]
10-4.
[Man]
♪ Westbound and down
18 wheels a-rollin' ♪
♪ We gonna do what they say
can't be done ♪
♪ We've got a long way to go ♪
♪ And a short time
to get there ♪
♪ I'm westbound
Just watch ol' Bandit run ♪
♪ Keep your foot hard
on the pedal ♪
♪ Son, never mind them brakes ♪
♪ Let it all hang out
'cause we've got
a run to make ♪
♪ The boys are thirsty
in Atlanta ♪
♪ And there's beer
in Texarkana ♪
♪ And we'll bring it back
No matter what it takes ♪
♪ Westbound and down
18 wheels a-rollin' ♪
♪ We gonna do what they say
can't be done ♪
♪ We've got a long way to go ♪
♪ And a short time
to get there ♪
♪ I'm westbound
Just watch ol' Bandit run ♪
♪♪ [Banjo Interlude]
♪ Old Smokey's got
them ears on ♪
♪ He's hot on your trail ♪
♪ And he ain't gonna rest
till you're in jail ♪
♪ So, you gotta dodge him
You gotta duck him ♪
♪ You gotta keep
that diesel truckin' ♪
- [Siren Wailing]
- ♪ Put that hammer down
and give it hell ♪
Well, hello there, Smokey.
♪ Westbound and down
18 wheels a-rollin' ♪
♪ We gonna do what they say
can't be done ♪
[Siren Wailing]
♪ We've got a long way to go ♪
♪ And a short time
to get there ♪
♪ I'm westbound
Just watch ol' Bandit run ♪
♪ Keep your foot hard
on the pedal ♪
♪ Son, never mind them brakes ♪
♪ Let it all hang out
'cause we've got
a run to make ♪
♪ The boys are thirsty
in Atlanta ♪
♪ And there's beer
in Texarkana ♪
♪ And we'll bring it back
No matter what it takes ♪
♪ Westbound and down
18 wheels a-rollin' ♪
♪ We gonna do what they say
can't be done ♪
♪ We've got a long way to go ♪
♪ And a short time
to get there ♪
♪ I'm westbound
Just watch ol' Bandit run ♪
♪♪ [Continues]
Fred,
I hope me and you ain't let
Bandit talk us into somethin'
we gonna be sorry for, son.
'Cause he's about as crazy
as you are ugly.
[Chuckles]
[Horn Honking]
♪ Westbound and down
18 wheels a-rollin' ♪
♪ We gonna do what they say
can't be done ♪
♪ We've got a long way to go ♪
♪ And a short time
to get there ♪
♪ I'm westbound
Just watch ol' Bandit run ♪♪
[Air Brakes Hissing]
Big town, ain't it?
Yeah. I wonder what they do
around here for excitement.
They probably sit around
and watch the cars rust.
[Laughs]
Damn it. It's locked.
You know, we're about
an hour ahead of schedule.
Let's keep it that way, huh?
All right.
- Hey, want a beer?
[Chuckles]
- Well, son.
Redneck heaven.
How're we gonna load
all this stuff though?
- I'll load it with this.
- You can't drive a forklift.
Oh, I can drive any
forkin' thing around.
[Laughs]
Will you get serious?
Can you drive this thing?
I am serious, you big dumbbell.
Crank it up,
now back it up.
Oh, shut up.
Whoa! I said back it up,
not raise it up.
I'm backin' it you,
you big dumbbell.
Relax.
Hold it. The beer,
watch the beer.
[Glass Breaking]
[Indistinct]
[Laughs]
You all right?
[Cledus]
Very funny. Very funny.
I thought it was funny.
Hey, we really ought to pay
somebody for that mess we
made in there.
All right, and you...
I've got that
all worked out.
You just leave a note, tell
the folks to send the bill
to big Enos Burdette.
Umm.
"Send...bill...to...
Big...Enos...Burdette.
[Engine Starting]
Burdette. B...
B-E-R. B-U-R?
B..."
Hell, I got to go.
Hey, Spiderman, are you
out there? Come back.
Snowman, how're we doin',
son? Come on back.
Hang on just a minute
and I'll tell ya.
Looks like we about
28 minutes ahead
of schedule.
Come back.
I hate to say I told you so.
Well, now don't lose your head,
son. We still got a lot
of boogeying to do.
Well, put the pedal
to the metal.
I'm 10-10 on the side.
For sure, for sure.
Me and Fred here,
we got your back door,
ain't we, Fred?
[Tires Screeching]
Sorry,
I don't want to get married.
Terrific.
That makes two of us.
Will you unzip me?
Sure.
Does this thing move?
Oh, yeah.
[Horn Honking]
Where are we going?
No, don't tell me,
let me guess.
We are a bride
in search of a wedding.
No.
No?
There...There is a wedding
in search of a bride.
Let me put it another way.
Think of it
as a wedding posse
in search of a bride.
You understand that, Cowboy?
Yeah.
What are you doin'?
These are my shoes.
Oh yeah.
And these are my legs.
Yeah? What're you
gonna do with them?
With the shoes or the legs?
Last time I saw legs
like that, they had
a message tied to them.
What do you mean?
These are great little legs.
I'm a professional.
Well, in that case,
you shouldn't be
dressed in white.
Dancer!
Oh.
Well, cowboys love
fat calves.
They're not fat.
They're bigger'n mine.
Do we really want
to talk about legs?
Well, one of us does,
otherwise we wouldn't...
You're a smart ass.
What are we doin' now?
Well, I am getting
my clothes, you fool.
That's a good idea.
Why don't you slip into
something comfortable?
Are we really going 110?
Uh-huh.
We're going 110.
Why do you wear
that cowboy hat?
I know, because you think
it looks dazzling on you.
[Grunts]
I had no idea when I bought
this wedding dress...
it was going to be so hard
to get out of.
[Lighter Clicks]
[Tool Drops]
Hold up on that
car wash, gentlemen.
Come here, son.
[Grunts]
Whoops.
[Chuckling]
[Grunts]
You look tired, boy.
Rest yourself.
You punks look
tuckered out, too.
That's an attention getter.
Now, a lady in a weddin' gown.
Yes, sir.
Get in a car?
Yes, sir.
See who's drivin' it?
N-No, sir.
License plate?
Yes, sir.
Uh, Georgia plates.
Uh...Ban One.
Uh...B-A-N-
d-d-dash O-N-E.
All right, now you boys just
stay here and watch the car.
There might be
some vandals around
who want to steal somethin'.
So you boys just stay here
and keep your hands
on the car...
until one
of my associates arrive.
And don't go home.
Don't go to eat,
and don't play
with yourselves.
It wouldn't look nice
on my highway.
Oh, you can think about it,
but don't do it.
Hey, man, he...he's gone.
Let...Let's get out of here.
Shit. You do what you want.
I...I'm stayin' right here.
Uh, I'm 28 years old, and...
Oh, goodness, what's this?
Just tuck it right in.
I was down here dancing
at a home appliance show.
I danced around
three trash mashers.
It was a great show.
Talk to me, my boy,
I had this costume...
that all lit up, and I only
short-circuited once.
Howdy there, good buddy.
Where'd you get
that seat cover, son?
No, this ain't no seat cover.
Ugh. So one night I was standing
out in the parking lot...
with my costume with the...
I'm sitting beside
Lawrence of Arabia.
I met this guy...
These can't be my pants.
God, he was good-looking.
- He had this hat on.
He was tall.
- Funny, ain't she?
I think he was from Texas
or something, I think, and...
and I thought, I don't know,
why don't you marry the guy?
What else have you...
Nobody walks out on
a pretty weddin' I set up.
Right.
And I'm gonna get that girl
and set everything straight.
She insulted my town.
She insulted my son.
Look, what if we...
Shut up.
She insulted my authority.
Yeah.
And that's nothin'
but pure and simple...
old-fashioned Communism.
Happens every time one of those
dancers start poontanging
around with those showfolk fags.
I mean, I was halfway down
the aisle and I said to myself,
"Jesus Christ, what are you
doing? His mother doesn't
even have any teeth."
And then I jumped into this car
and, I don't know, it blew up
on the side of the road.
And then I ended up in this
goddamn airplane.
What do you do?
I don't remember.
Oh, are we on the air?
Sort of. Yeah.
You think I'm...
[Grunts]
nuts, don't you?
No, I don't think
you're crazy.
I picked up three brides
yesterday, just like you,
very subdued.
Hey, what...
what's goin' on up there?
Come back, Bandit.
Bandit? Is that your name
or your profession?
That's my "handle."
Bo's my real name.
What's your name?
Carrie.
Hey, is she a...
wedding dress?
She was.
What's she wearin' now?
Come back.
Hey, you got peanut butter
or somethin' in your ears?
Tell me what that woman's
got on...her mind?
[Laughs]
10-4.
No coozie's gonna
leave me at no church.
- Decoratin' up a whole town
at the cost of $40.00.
- Right.
I can see her now.
Runnin' back up that aisle.
No, she was dancin'
back up the aisle.
Her knockers bouncin'
all over the joint.
Let go of that wheel.
Her ass was wigglin' too.
Why so fast?
You late for a big bowling date?
Cute.
So, tell me about yourself.
What do you want to know,
my sign?
No. I mean, uh, what do
you do besides drive fast?
Have fun.
Is this fun?
- Drivin'?
- Oh, driving, talking to me.
Well, they're both a challenge.
You're got a great profile.
Yeah, I do, don't I?
Especially from the side.
Well, at least we finally
agree on something.
Yeah. We both like
half my face.
[Tires Squealing]
Hey, would a cop
taking a leak on the side
of the road interest you?
Yes, it would.
He's taking a 10-100.
Well, at least
it's better than 10-200.
[Siren Wailing]
- Smokey.
[Tires Screeching]
[Siren Wailing]
Is this fun?
I forgot to tell ya.
I'm runnin' blocker
for 400 cases
of illegal Coors.
Holy shit.
Oh, damn.
I don't believe this.
Funny, I don't remember
that turn.
Bandit, where the hell are you?
I'll be back on the highway
in a second.
All right, good buddy,
I'll keep my eyes peeled.
[Tires Squealing]
[Static Crackling]
Them things are fabulous.
I think I just went 10-100.
That's better
than 10-200.
That's true.
[Laughs]
♪ Well, the more wheels I got,
the better I like it ♪
♪ I'm the brother
of a truck-drivin' mother
Boogity, boogity, boogity ♪♪
[Horn Honking]
Snowman,
you got your ears on?
You lucky devil, you got him.
Where the hell are you?
I'm on a two-lane blacktop.
Uh, highway marker number 71.
How's our time doin'?
Aw, doin' everythin' on time.
Doin' about 25...
minutes ahead of schedule.
Come back.
What's your 20?
Oh, I'm about four miles
ahead of you, Turkey.
[Laughs]
Not for long.
[Man]
Breaker, breaker
to the Bandit.
Come on back, Breaker.
Bandit, I've got
a smokey report for you.
Come on.
Well, talk to me,
good buddy.
You got trouble comin'.
What's your handle,
son and, uh,
what's your 20?
My handle's Smokey Bear
and I'm tail grabbin'
your ass right now.
God damn.
That's a Texas mountie.
What the hell's he doin'
in Arkansas?
I don't know.
Well, let's just see what
he's got under the hood.
Bye, bye, baby.
You smoke much?
I just started.
Cledus,
you got your ears on, son?
Oh, bring it on,
you lucky devil.
Comin' around ya.
Over.
Look, be careful.
You gonna have
to make your own lane, buddy.
'Cause you've definitely got
some oncoming traffic.
Be careful. Be careful.
Oh, my...Oh, my God!
I'm about to be killed
in this...
in this moving C.B. radio show
and I...I don't even
have a handle.
You want a handle?
Okay, I'll think one up for you.
Just a minute here.
Let's see.
Oh, I got one for you.
What?
Uh...
Ooh!
Just give me a minute here.
He done good,
didn't he, Fred?
[Sighing]
What?
Frog.
Why?
'Cause you're always
hoppin' around.
And you're kinda cute
like a frog and...
I'd like to jump ya.
Nobody...
Nobody makes
Sheriff Buford T. Justice
look like a possum's pecker.
- 'Cept for...
- Shut your ass.
Break for that Bandit 1.
Yes, Snowman, come on back.
There was a Texas Bubble Gum
machine on your back door.
A Texas bubble gum machine?
Yeah, I saw him.
[Tires Screeching]
Hoss, you ain't
gonna believe this,
but that crazy son of a bitch
just tried to drive right up
under my truck.
What's a Texas county mountie
doin' in Arkansas?
I don't know.
Well, who the hell knows?
I really don't know.
What we're
dealin' with here...
is a complete lack
of respect for the law.
This is
Sheriff Buford T. Justice.
I'm in pursuit
of a black Trans Am.
He's all mine,
so stay out of the way.
This is Sheriff George Branford
of Deeson County, Arkansas.
We are apprised
of the situation and are
taking appropriate measures.
Did you say you are a sheriff?
That's a big 10-4.
This is
Sheriff Buford T. Justice
of Texas.
Texas?
You know, of course,
that you're out
of your jurisdiction.
I suggest that you let
my department handle
the situation.
That's very comfortin', but
I'm in a high-speed pursuit.
Don't you hear good?
I hear perfectly. The fact
that you are a sheriff is not
germane to the situation.
The goddamn Germans got
nothin' to do with it!
What'd he say?
Shut up.
One shit at a time.
All right.
What do you see?
We lost him.
[Sighs]
This is
Sheriff Buford T. Justice
again. I lost that Trans Am.
Set up a roadblock.
Good idea!
What the hell do you know?
I believe we have
the situation well
under control, Sheriff.
Breaker, breaker.
This breaker's lookin'
for the Bandit.
Come on.
You out there, son?
You got the Bandit.
Come on back.
Uh, my handle's
Silver Tongued Devil
and I'm here to tell ya...
your fellow C.B.'ers are
mighty proud of you
out there. Come on.
Well, thank you, son.
I appreciate it.
Uh, tell me,
you comin' up on, uh,
Fayetteville and Interstate 82?
Yeah, we're almost
on top of it.
Well, then I got a big bad Bear
story for you out there.
I just rolled past
a county mountie roadblock...
down there.
You are a Silver Tongued Devil.
That's a big 10-4,
good buddy.
Well, you keep
your wheels spinnin' and
the beavers grinnin' then, huh?
I'm out.
[Chuckles]
Why, thank you,
Officer.
Classy guy.
[Tires Screeching]
[Tires Squealing]
[Tires Screeching]
Did you see that? They went
right through our roadblock.
You sombitches
couldn't close an umbrella.
[Tires Screeching]
You know somethin',
Sheriff?
What?
If J.W. don't
get out of my way,
I'm gonna pass him.
Where? In the woods?
I don't care
if your Daddy is the mayor,
you wreck this car, it's
gonna come out of your pay.
Yeah, but Sheriff,
he's gettin' away.
Son, he's not
goin' anywhere.
The Mulberry Bridge
has been dismantled for
the past six months.
Oh.
That's not good.
It would be better
with a whole bridge.
And that's worse.
Why don't you just drop me
off here. I'll catch a cab.
Too late now.
We did it!
See,
[Laughs]
I didn't wreck it, Sheriff.
We jumped over that bridge!
We did that!
Did you see what we did?
Yes, I did.
I want to jump something else!
I want to jump a house!
I want to jump something!
Oh, jump me.
[Laughs]
Honest to God,
it wasn't my fault,
Sheriff. I stopped.
Yeah, right.
Hey, boy,
where's Sheriff Branford?
I am Sheriff Branford.
Oh.
[Laughs]
For some reason or another,
you sounded a little taller
on radio.
[Laughs]
What the hell is
the world comin' to?
[Man]
That sounds good to me,
Tower of Power.
- Hey, listen, good buddy...
- What channel are we on?
You bring your wife.
I'll pick up some more hide.
Eleven.
What channel
are we on?
Uh, 11.
Snowman,
are you out there, son?
I'm up here doin' what
I'm supposed to be doin'.
What are y'all
doin' back there?
He'in and she'in?
Come back.
No, we were playin'
a little bridge.
How have we been doin'?
[Whistles]
We losin' minutes, son.
We losin' minutes.
If you don't get up here
and run me some interference,
afraid you ain't never
goin' to make it.
Come back.
Look. I'm gonna drop
the little dolly here
off at a choke and puke,
and then I'm gonna get
right back on the job.
All right,
10-4 on that choke and puke.
Oh, by the way, Bandit,
Yeah, guy?
Uh, how about bringin' me
a hamburger for Fred, here?
I'm gettin' to worry about him.
He lookin' a little thin
in the skin.
You got 'em.
Choke and puke.
That's where I'll get off.
Right.
You know, you ought
to give up smokin'.
It's bad for your health.
But I enjoy it so much.
[Chokes]
I guess you can get
your ticket over there.
You got enough money?
Yeah.
I have enough
to get to Jersey.
Walk the rest of the way.
Hey, thanks.
Oh, it was nothin'.
I'll see you around.
Yeah.
Frog.
You gonna be all right?
Yeah.
I'm always all right.
Can I have a couple
of cheeseburgers to go
and a glass of ice tea?
Yeah, okay.
How much do I owe you,
ma'am?
A dollar and a half.
There you are.
Keep the change.
[Justice]
Just keep your eye out
for that Mr. Bandit Bastard.
Let me have a diablo sandwich,
a Dr. Pepper, and make it fast.
I'm in a goddamn hurry.
You want somethin'?
[Junior]
A hush puppy, Daddy.
We got no time for that crap!
Dumb sombitch.
Diablo and Doc.
Thank you, nice lady.
You must be in a hell
of a hurry, huh, Sheriff?
Bet your ass on that, boy.
Oh, you got
a little mess there.
Let me...
Let me help you
out here.
Get that off of there.
That's a way
for an awful stain...
Much obliged.
Yeah.
Who you chasin'?
Somebody chasin' you?
Nobody's chasing me, boy.
I've been chasin'
a goddamn maniac all the way
from Texarkana, Texas.
Really?
What is he,
a bank robber?
[Garbled]
Bank robber?
What?
Bank robbin' is baby shit
alongside of what
this dude is doin'.
Yeah?
Almost killed
20 law officers.
Drivin' through
people's backyards,
knockin' down mailboxes.
He's got a broad in the car,
took her across the state line.
That's the Mann Act.
I don't think
he's got her permission,
and that's kidnappin'.
How's that for high jinks?
[Chuckles]
[Gurgles]
What I owe?
Oh, let me pay for it.
Let me pay for it.
Mm...No, I ...
No, no, you're
an officer of the law.
I'd...I'd be honored.
Well, much obliged.
Where's the can?
I gotta take a squirt.
Oh, right back there.
I just went.
What the...
Hey. Hey.
What are you doin'
in my car?
You're goin' the wrong way.
Oh.
Hang on.
What the hell
are you doin'?
Sheriff Justice is in there!
I know! I know!
Thank you, nice lady.
Sure thing.
Whoo-hoo, Sheriff.
Nice ass.
The truth is
I didn't want to be dumped
at any old truck stop.
I wanted to stay with you,
and I needed an excuse.
Well, why didn't you ask?
Well, you might've said no,
and I have a hard time
handling rejections.
[Tires Screeching]
[Engine Revving]
[Tires Screeching In Distance]
[Engine Revving]
We're gainin' on 'em.
[Chuckles]
I think it'd be
a good idea if, uh,
we changed places,
don't you?
Yeah.
You kinda be a passenger
for a while, and I'll...
Yeah.
Up. Up.
I just kinda slide right over...
Oh, you got my hair.
It's all right.
Just slide right under.
Ooh, I don't know.
Wait, wait. Wait!
I got it. I got it.
Whoa!
Wait a minute.
Hold it! I'm stuck here.
Wait.
Wait! Wait!
This is not workin'.
I got my foot on the...
No. Come on...It's not...
Goddamn it. I saw 'em do it
in movies.
Oh, my God!
[Tires Squealing]
[Justice]
Duck, or you're gonna be
talkin' out of your ass.
[Tires Screech]
Daddy, the top came off.
No shit.
Snowman,
how're your vocal cords?
Well, my vocal cords are fine.
I'm a little worried
about Fred, now.
[Chuckles]
He's been gnawin' everything
in the cab of this truck.
Barkin' and screamin'.
I think he's turned into a
stalk of bananas. Come back.
- What's your 20?
- About 16 miles this side
of Mississippi.
Whoa. Hold it.
I just passed another Kojak
with a Kodak.
This place is
crawlin' with Bears.
Where the hell are you?
Come back.
I'm still tryin' to get rid
of that Texas county mountie.
- I don't know
what the hell he wants.
- You know what he wants.
I mean, how would you like
to be the dude
that handcuffs a legend?
[Chuckles]
Listen. Gimme five minutes.
We're gonna put some moves
on that mother.
I'll meet you at Old Miss.
Well, you better hurry,
or we can just kiss that money
good-bye.
- You understand that?
- I read you loud and clear.
10-4.
You got the One Snowman.
I'm eastbound and down.
We're gone, killer.
That's the way I want to go out.
That's the best way.
Hey, man, watch it.
[Horn Honking]
What the hell was that?
A left. Or a half a U.
Well, please don't
do it anymore.
[Tires Squealing]
Hey, you know who that was?
[Laughs]
Check this out.
Bandit, this here's
the Grave Robber.
Put the pedal to the metal,
good buddy,
and we'll hold
this county mountie as long
as we can. Come on.
Well, go girl, go.
I'm goin', I'm goin'.
I got the metal to the pedal
and the thing to the floor.
Damn, he had a lot
of friends, didn't he?
I wish they had cremated
the son of a bitch.
I could've been kickin'
that Mr. Bandit's ass
around the moon by now.
[Tires Squealing]
Hold my hat!
My hat blew off, Daddy.
I hope your goddamn head
was in it.
Okay. We're gonna switch.
Okay.
Get up! I'm comin' over.
Oh! Oh, my goodness.
I'm comin' over underneath you.
You can just slide
right on over.
Just slide...
Ooh! I think I'm in love
with your belt buckle.
Close.
Colorful, but close.
I like this seat
better anyway.
Yes. Have a smoke.
It seems to help.
[Crowd Cheering]
Come on, defense!
Come on, Billy Ray,
get tough.
You know, I wanted to be
a high-fashion model once.
Really?
But, hell, how long
can you model clothes
for eight-year-olds? Boys.
Besides that,
my cheeks were too fat.
These cheeks. These.
[Yells]
Oh, my goodness,
we're airborne here.
Jesus Christ!
Oh, look, a football game!
There's kids!
For Christ's sake, watch out!
I know they're kids.
What do you think
I think they are?
- Don't hit the kids!
- Get your hands off my wheel!
Oh, lean to the left,
lean to the right...
What are ya doin'?
Stand up there
and see if you can see
where the hell they went.
Can you see anything?
Yeah, it's a football game.
Can we watch, Daddy?
Uh, you stay
and watch the game.
I'm goin' back!
But, Daddy...
♪ Bandit, you're reckless ♪
♪ And you live
much too hard ♪♪
Ought to be in Nashville.
[Chuckling]
[Bandit]
Yo, Snowman,
are ya out there, son?
What's your 20?
Where are you?
Uh, I'm at mile marker 85.
Come back.
Son of a gun!
So am I!
[Chuckles]
Well, damned if ya ain't.
Uh, damned if ya ain't.
[Laughing]
Cledus?
Yeah.
This is Frog.
Hello, Frog. I want you
to meet Fred, Frog.
Hey, Fred.
This here
is for Fred.
Frog, feed Fred.
Fine.
Hey, look. What the hell's
wrong with you?
You told me you were gonna dump
the chick at the truck stop.
Ran into complications.
[Cledus]
You're always runnin'
into complications.
Always the same, some chick.
We ain't doin' no good
on the time.
What are we standing
here yappin' for?
It's the chick.
Here we go.
Ooh! Ahh.
Switch down to the next
channel, right?
Yeah.
[Whispering]
Hey, uh, Bandit?
Nice ass.
[Whispering]
Thanks a lot.
Oh! Ah.
[Laughing]
[Tires Squealing]
All right, Fred.
Come on. Let's go, boy.
Come on. Up here, Fred.
Come on. Come on.
Fred, I'm so damn tired
of pickin' you up...Fred!
Did Cledus call you
a legend?
Uh-huh.
Why?
Well, I used to do some
crazy things. I used to.
Oh.
So did I.
[Thumping]
One, two,
three, four,
five, six,
seven, eight.
One, two.
I'm a gypsy. Four.
That's someone
who goes from chorus line
to chorus line.
Six, seven, eight.
You know,
I was on Broadway once.
Really?
For almost 12 minutes.
Oh.
The show closed
the first night.
But, God, I was so good.
You should have seen me.
You'd have loved me.
[Both Laughing]
What do you do?
Well, I...
Straight.
I just go from
place to place and...
do what I do best.
What's that?
Show off.
Yeah. You do
do that well.
You do.
So do I.
Five, six, seven, eight.
For almost 12 minutes.
Oh, shut up.
[Both Laughing]
Come here, Fred.
Come here, boy. Come on...
Fred, don't you make me
come after you.
Get-Get over here, Fred!
Come here.
I'm in a hurry,
and you want to take a swim.
You're drivin' me crazy, Fred.
You're just driving me crazy.
Oh, get up here.
What is the matter
with you, Fred?
That's it for you and the truck
drivin', I'll tell you that
right now.
[Tires Squealing]
[Tires Screeching]
Look, I've got to go 10-100.
Could I have a dime?
Crawl under.
Terrific.
[Grunts]
Crawl under.
Howdy.
Trans Am!
What's your pleasure?
Uh, fill it up,
my man.
[Gasps]
Gimme that talker.
Hello?
Mr. Bandit?
Would you just happen
to be listenin' out there?
Can you hear me, boy?
This is the Bandit.
Who've I got at that end?
This is Sheriff
Buford T. Justice of Texas.
Well, hot damn.
Welcome to Mississippi, Sheriff.
Thank you, Mr. Bandit.
And I got a big welcome
waitin' for you
when I get you back home,
you sombitch!
Don't you cuss
on this here radio.
I apologize to
all the friendly folk
who are listenin'.
Now hear this,
you tick turd.
I'm gonna get you.
I didn't come all the way
this far to go home
with empty pockets.
Oh, I been
meanin' to ask you that.
How come you're followin' me?
I'd be delighted
to tell you, Mr. Bandit.
You see,
when I get
you back home,
I'm gonna find the tallest
tree in the country.
And then I'm gonna
hang you from it.
[Laughing]
- Sheriff?
- I'm listenin'.
Do the letters "F.O."
mean anything to you?
[Grunts]
Smart aleck.
Tell you what, partner,
you keep this one for yourself.
Right.
Have a smooth ride,
Mr. Bandit.
Thank you, partner.
[Tires Squealing]
Oof.
[Motor Roaring,
Cars Crashing]
[Bandit]
Hello, there, Snowman.
I'm right beside you, son.
Looks like we got
a clear shot all the way
to the 'Bama state line.
[Cledus]
Oh, a clear shot
to the 'Bama state line, huh?
I'm gonna believe that
when I see it.
This is Sheriff
Buford T. Justice puttin' out
an all-point advisory.
That black Trans Am
is now headed toward Alabama.
What happened, Daddy?
Get back
in the goddamn car.
You know who I feel
has really revolutionized
the American musical theater?
That's Stephen Sondheim.
Yeah?
Yeah.
- Who's h...Who's that?
- Stephen Sondheim?
Yeah. Does he do a lot
of musicals and stuff?
Yeah.
He ever do anything
with Brenda Lee?
Does she dance?
She spins.
She's a little spinner.
Oh, they were a good group.
The Spinners
were good. Yeah.
Yeah.
[Carrie]
Have you ever been in
any high school plays and stuff?
Holy shit. We got
a lot of company up there.
A lot of company.
Sarge, here he comes.
Yeah, I got eyes.
[Tires Screeching]
[Motor Idling]
Hmm.
Are you ready, Roy?
I was born ready.
Don't just stand there.
Let's go get him!
- Drives pretty good,
don't he, Sarge?
- We'll see about that.
[Tires Squealing]
[Siren Wailing]
Sarge, you okay?
You see me movin',
don't ya?
[Siren Wailing]
[Tires Screeching]
Wanna do a little
pond hopping, Frog?
Oh, swell.
[Siren Wailing]
[Tires Screeching]
[Siren Continues]
[Siren Stops]
[Horn Honks]
Uh, I know you're
in a little distress here,
but did you see
a black Trans Am go by?
He caused all
of this, the Bandit.
Ain't he somethin'?
The Bandit ain't nothin'.
He's a mental case.
[Truck Horn Honking]
Good shit!
Banzai!
[Laughing]
I saw that,
you sombitch!
[Horn Honking]
You did that on purpose!
You're goin' away
till you're gray!
I got the evidence!
Put the evidence in the car.
B-But, Daddy...
Put the evidence
in the car!
I'm gonna barbecue
your ass in molasses!
Put the evidence
in the back.
[Rattling]
There's no way,
no way that you could
come from my loins.
Soon as I get home,
the first thing I'm gonna do is
punch your mama in the mouth.
I-I'll be with you
in a moment, young man.
Bandit, honey,
this is the Good Witch
of the North speakin'.
You'd better not come
this way.
There's been a little
fender bender here on 64.
Snowman,
did you copy that?
Yeah, I got a great big four
on that for sure.
That'll work good for me,
Bandit, 'cause I need
to pull off here...
and suck up a little go-go juice
and put some groceries
down my neck.
So y'all be careful
and I'll catch ya later.
One Snowman.
I'm clear and on the side.
We'll be 10-10
on the side, son.
Lady, don't you know
you're supposed to signal?
Oh? Really?
♪ They call you the Bandit ♪
♪ An outlaw untamed ♪
♪ Shackled only by freedom ♪
♪ You wear no man's chain ♪
We got some time. You wanna
stretch your legs, Frog?
♪ Some say
they despise you ♪
Sure.
♪ Well, maybe they do ♪
♪ But deep down inside them ♪
♪ I bet they wish
they were you ♪♪
Fill her up, hoss.
Yeah.
Come on, Frederick.
My boy, my boy.
Let's go get some
of Lamar's greasy spoon.
I'm gonna put you
on a diet, Fred. Mercy.
Come on, Fred.
Come on, boy.
Come on, Fred.
Inside.
[Growling]
Come on.
Come on, boy.
Lamar, surprise.
Look who's here.
I knew you was comin'.
Hi, Snowman.
What do you mean,
you knew I was comin'?
♪♪ [Jukebox: Country]
Lamar, you're rotten to
the core, you know that,
don't ya?
You're about as rotten
as that food you've been
poisonin' me with for the last...
How many do you want?
I don't know.
Fix the same thing.
Just cook the onions this time.
Well, how in the hell
have you been, Sugar Bear?
Pretty good.
How about you, Snowman?
Oh, pretty good,
considering the shape I'm in.
Say hello
to Waynette.
Okay.
Looks like
old Fred's gettin' fat.
Yeah, tell me about it.
And it damn sure ain't from
eatin' the food at this joint.
Tell me about that.
I know it.
By the way, where did you get
all them warthogs back there?
Damn if I know. They slid
in here a little while ago.
I'm gonna slide on out.
I'm gonna catch you later,
Snowman.
Yeah, why don't you
just leave me?
[Man] Who's ready for beer?
Yes, operator?
This is a collect call
from Cledus Snow.
[Chattering]
No, I am not
Hank Snow's brother. No.
Hey, sugar babe,
how you doin'?
Can I ask
you something?
Sure.
Do you think we have
anything in common?
I mean, besides being chased
around the country
in that fakakta car?
Yeah.
Like what?
Have you ever seen
the Broadway show
Chorus Line?
No.
You like
Elton John?
No.
Do you know who, uh,
Casey Tibbs is?
Baseball player.
Close. Richard Petty?
No.
Hmm.
Waylon Jennings?
[Together]
No.
When you tell
somebody somethin',
it depends on what part
of the United States
you're standin' in...
as to just
how dumb you are.
Mr. Bandit, you have
a lyrical way of cutting
through the bullshit.
And you have a unique way with
the English language, Miss Frog.
♪ Bandit steal
a lady's heart ♪
♪ With only a smile ♪
Don't you ever take
that hat off for anything?
Sure.
I take it off for one thing,
and one thing only.
♪ And you live
much too hard ♪
Oh.
♪ Bandit, you're the joker ♪
If we were lost
on a desert island together...
Yes?
do you think
we'd get along...
and talk and...
things?
[Laughing]
Sure.
Yeah, we'd get along.
It'd never be boring,
I can tell you that.
It would never be boring.
Take your hat off.
If you want to.
♪ They call you the Bandit ♪
I want to.
♪ They call you the Bandit ♪
♪ They call you the Bandit ♪♪
♪♪ [Jukebox: Country]
Look.
Honey, we'll be home
in a little while. I wanna...
[Man] Hey!
Is this
your goddamn mutt?
Uh, honey,
I got...I gotta go.
I'll...
Yeah, I gotta go. Bye.
Yeah, that's my dog.
Yeah.
Well,
he just bit me.
Uh, Fred!
Come here, Fred.
I said...
he just bit me.
Put the son of a bitch
out of his misery.
Let's roast him.
That's not
a bad idea.
Eat him.
I don't think Fred bit you,
mister. Fred absolutely
don't like grease.
[Woman Screams]
[Men Grunt]
Gearjammer, huh?
King of the road,
huh?
[Crowd Chattering]
It's time
you get out.
That's a big 10-4.
[Chattering Continues]
[Groans]
[Crowd Chattering,
Laughing]
[Panting]
How much
do I owe you, Billy?
Up. 73.84.
Never mind.
Just keep the change.
Sorry what happened,
Snowman.
[Pants]
It's okay, Lamar.
[Engine Starts]
[Laughing]
Far out.
What the hell is this,
a drive-in movie?
[Horn Honking]
[Horn Continues]
Get off of there,
you schnauzer's dick!
[Horn Continues]
[Horn Stops]
How do, Officer. My name's...
I don't care if your name's
Broderick Crawford.
Don't you know you can't drive
a piece of shit like that
on the highway?
I'll thank you not to use
that kind of language
in my presence.
Never mind that crap.
What the hell is this?
This is evidence.
Evidence?
Well, I don't care
what it is.
You can't drive this piece
of shit on my highway.
I'm tellin' you
for the last time.
I happen to have my young son
in the car, and I don't wanna
hear that kinda language.
Look, I'm askin' you
one single, goddamn...
Hold it!
Don't you ever,
ever raise your voice to me!
Do you know
who you're talkin' to?
I happen to be
Buford T. Justice,
a distinguished officer
of over 30 years seniority!
One of the most highly respected
law-enforcement agents...
in the United States
of America.
That vehicle
happens to be evidence,
valuable evidence,
that's going to convict
a maniac...
that I've been tryin'
to apprehend...
and that I have been
in high-speed pursuit of...
for 700 miles!
He is wanted
for the Mann Act,
kidnappin'
and the attempted murder...
of over 20 brother officers.
Sir, I'm sorry.
I...Well,
I-I had no idea.
It-It-It never
occurred to me.
Well, please, sir,
you proceed immediately.
And, well, sir, I...
I hope you'll
accept my apologies
for my profanity.
Apology accepted.
Now...
[Truck Horn Honking]
[No Audible Dialogue]
How about you, Bandit?
You copy this Snowman?
Come on.
[Bandit]
I got ya, son. Come on back.
Look, you ain't
gonna believe this,
but I just did
my imitation of Joe Palooka.
I went a few rounds
with some dudes back here
at this eat-'em-up joint.
[Bandit]
Oh, I believe ya. I believe
anything you tell me.
How'd ya do,
same as always?
Yeah, about normal.
I lost.
[Laughs]
Hey, look, we also lost
a lot of valuable time too.
We gonna really have to cook.
[Cledus] Is that a 10-4?
[Bandit]
That's a big 10-4.
Actually,
my heaviest relationship was
with an acid-rock singer...
named Robert Crumly.
We were together, oh,
eight and a half days.
God, I really thought
that was it.
And?
One day I came home
and found him in the shower...
with a girl...
and her mother!
Well, at least
he kept it in the family.
[Grunts]
You have a wonderful way
of putting things.
So did he.
Oh, yes.
♪♪ [Stereo: Country]
Breaker 1-9. Breaker 1-9.
This is the Bandit.
I'm lookin' for a west-bounder
on highway 85.
I need a smokey report,
and I need it bad, son.
This is Foxy Lady, Bandit.
We heard you were comin' by,
and we decided we'd take care
of those Bears for you.
You know, a little
"personalized service."
Well, just send me the bill,
Foxy Lady.
Better yet, why don't you
come by and pay up in person?
I'll catch you on...
on the flip side, darlin'.
I'm too pooped to pop.
Daddy, listen.
Shut up!
But I'm just ahead of you.
I'm at mile marker 86.
Come on by, Bandit.
All right,
you talked me into it.
Now I got the sombitch,
and I got him with his fly open.
Ooh!
Well, what're we gonna do
when we get home?
Go to bed...
for a week.
Good idea.
And sleep.
Wanna bet?
Hey, Orville,
you seen that new waitress down
at the diner name Arlene?
Yeah, man,
she's got some nice legs.
Man, she's lookin' good.
I'd like to take a run on her.
Oh, man, what are you
talkin' about?
I'm tellin' ya.
Let me tell you
somethin' about that.
I tell ya, she makes herself...
Feel lucky?
Let's get him.
[Engine Starts]
This is Car 4.
We're in pursuit
of a black Trans Am.
It's the Bandit.
[Siren Wailing]
♪ Eastbound and down
Loaded up and truckin' ♪
[Sirens Continue]
♪ We gonna do what they say
can't be done ♪
♪ We've got a long way to go ♪
♪ And a short time
to get there ♪
♪ I'm eastbound
Just watch ol' Bandit run ♪
♪♪ [Continues]
Oh, shit.
Breaker 1-9.
I see a portable gas station
up ahead of me. Do you copy?
Hey, is this Bandit? This is
Mr. B, and I'm gear jammin'
this rollin' refinery.
You got another smokey
on the rubber?
This is the Bandit, son.
Uh, can we slide right
into your convoy there?
Come ahead on, Bandit.
We'll slip you
into the rockin' chair,
play a little hide-and-seek.
[Laughing]
The welcome mat is out,
and you're comin' home.
10-4.
We're going
in the rocking chair, honey.
Good.
Trucks, I love 'em.
I love 'em.
[Horn Honking]
[Laughing]
This is not a convoy.
This is a dream.
They can see right down
into this car, you know that?
Well, so what?
That's why I used to love
to drive those trucks, darlin'.
Spot those beavers.
Safe as in your mother's
womb here, darlin'.
Is that right?
Yeah.
♪ Son, never mind them brakes ♪
♪ Let it all hang out
'cause we got a run to make ♪
♪ The boys are thirsty
in Atlanta ♪
♪ And there's beer
in Texarkana ♪
♪ And we'll bring it back
No matter what it takes ♪
♪ Eastbound and down
Loaded up and truckin' ♪
♪ We gonna do what they say
can't be done ♪
♪ We've got a long way to go ♪
♪ And a short time
to get there ♪
♪ I'm eastbound
Just watch ol' Bandit run ♪
[Laughs]
♪ Old Smokey's
got them ears on ♪
♪ He's hot on your trail ♪
[Laughing]
♪ And he ain't gonna rest
till you're in jail ♪
♪ So you gotta dodge him
You gotta duck him ♪
♪ You gotta keep
that diesel truckin' ♪
♪ Just put that hammer down
and give it hell ♪
Thank you, Mr. B.
I don't know
how to thank ya.
You can thank me
by not gettin' caught.
Have a good day
and a better one tomorrow,
good buddy.
Hey, Bandit,
this is Little Beaver.
Put your foot on the floor.
We got your back door,
and I'm clear.
That's a 10-4.
Snowman, you got
your ears on, son?
You've got him,
you lucky devil.
You're about to
come up on a convoy.
Just keep the rubber band
stretched real tight.
10-4, 10-4.
I'm bringin' it, son.
I'm bringin' it.
I'm clear.
♪ Eastbound and down ♪
♪ Loaded up and truckin' ♪
[Horn Honks]
♪ We gonna do what they say
can't be done ♪
♪ We've got a long way to go ♪
♪ And a short time
to get there ♪
♪ I'm eastbound
Just watch ol' Bandit run ♪
[Horn Honking]
♪ Keep your foot
hard on the pedal ♪
♪ Son, never mind them brakes ♪
♪ Let it all hang out
'cause we got a run to make ♪
♪ The boys are thirsty
in Atlanta ♪
♪ And there's beer
in Texarkana ♪
♪ And we'll bring it back
No matter what it takes ♪
[Horn Honking]
♪ Eastbound and down ♪
♪ Loaded up and truckin' ♪
♪ We gonna do what they say
can't be done ♪
♪ We've got a long way to go ♪
♪ And a short time
to get there ♪
♪ I'm eastbound
Just watch ol' Bandit run ♪♪
[Man] I don't care
if you're the governor of Texas.
You're makin' a big mistake.
[Siren Wailing
In Distance]
Read him his rights,
Junior.
[Tires Screeching]
"You...You have the right
to remain silent.
Anything you say
may be held against you
in a court of law."
And, uh...
What's all this
about?
Why, hello, Officer.
Glad you're here to assist me.
My name is
Sheriff Buford T. Justice.
I have just apprehended
the Bandit.
No, sir.
You just apprehended
my captain.
Take the cuffs off,
Junior.
- But Daddy, we just...
- Take the cuffs off,
you moose twit!
Uh, may I, uh,
express my feelings
about inconveniencin' ya?
But if you gonna hang out
in these kinda joints,
wear a badge
on your didie!
[Whistles]
[Siren Wailing]
Oh, no.
Hey, Bandit. Hey, Bandit.
Listen to this.
[Siren Continues]
[Cledus]
You know who that is?
That's Mr. Evel Knievel.
He done snuck in my back door,
son, when I wasn't lookin'.
You better flip-flop back here
and give me a hand, son, or we
gonna be in a heap of trouble.
Uh, please roger
that transmission.
Hold on to Fred, son.
Here comes the cavalry.
[Tires Squealing]
Howdy, Officer.
How ya doin'?
Give me your license
and manifest, boy.
Uh...manifest. Uh...
You know you was goin'
96 miles an hour?
I was doin' 96...
You're damn right,
you was.
I didn't know this truck
could do 96 miles an hour.
The judge gets to you, boy,
he's gonna turn you
every way but loose.
It's time you truckers learn
these roads don't belong to you.
Yeah, I know that.
[Tires Screeching]
[Whistling]
Uh, you be careful,
you hear?
[Siren Wailing]
Whoa. Want a little piece
of advice, Bandit?
[Bandit]
Yeah. Lay it on me, son.
Don't take your foot
off of that hammer, son.
Them Bears are about to pour
all over you like maple syrup.
10-4.
[Tires Screeching]
[Sirens Continue]
You all right?
- Yeah.
- Son, don't you know
this ain't Saturday?
- Thanks a lot.
- [Tires Squealing]
[Man On Radio]
We don't need assistance.
I've got him in my sights.
[Siren Continues]
Headquarters, disregard
my last transmission.
[Tires Squealing]
[Tires Screeching]
[Siren Stops]
Son,
you reckon you can let me off
at the next exit?
[Horn Honking]
Boys, go get your daddy
a beer.
Okay.
[Man On Radio]
But I understand every cop
in the state's after him.
Stay 10-10.
I'll let you know.
That's a big 10-4.
I copy ya.
Damn, he's been stirring up
some trouble.
[Siren Wailing]
[Chattering Excitedly]
Ooh, it's the Bandit!
[Sirens Continue]
[Woman]
I'm hot to trot, hotshot.
Just tell me how I can help
and I'm with ya, body and soul.
Channel clear.
Breaker 1-9.
Is that Hot Pants Hilliard
I hear yakkin' out there?
And who wants to know?
This is the Bandit,
darlin'.
Well, where are you,
you bodied-up,
smooth-talkin' thing?
And how can I help?
Bring it back.
You still workin' at that
choke and puke on west 85?
Affirmative, affirmative.
I'm still dishin' it out.
Listen, darlin',
we're gonna come screamin'
by there in five minutes...
with a herd of smokeys
on our ass.
How about gettin' those
pals of yours out there
and block 'em off?
Whew! Love to! Love to!
But hey, you're gonna
owe me one.
- I owe you a big one.
- [Laughing]
That's a big 10-4.
10-4.
[Laughs]
[Sirens Continue]
All right, gang,
we're gonna go for a big
smokey red 22! Whoo-hoo!
Ride with me?
Yeah.
[All Chattering,
Cheering]
You sure we ain't
gonna get in trouble?
Nah.
I've done it before.
[Sirens Wailing]
We're comin' at you, darlin'.
Are you ready?
Ready, willin' and able,
Bandit.
"Ready and willing."
Ha. She always was.
[Hot Pants]
Okay, gang, be alert, be alert,
'cause here he comes.
Well, go ahead
and answer.
10-4, Hot Pants.
We copy.
Let go
of the button.
[Tires Screeching]
[Sirens Wailing]
[Horns Honking]
[Sirens Wailing]
Pay dirt. I just picked up
the Bandit eastbound on 95.
All units converge.
I copy, Chopper 1.
I'm on my way.
This is Trooper Baker
heading for the fairgrounds.
[Sirens Continue]
[Trooper]
This is Car 12. Bobby Lee and I
have him westbound on 75.
[Rattling]
[Sirens Continue]
Cledus, where
the hell are we?
[Cledus]
Four miles to go, good buddy.
Four miles. Goddamn it!
Four miles.
[Sirens Continue]
Bo, did you count
on this?
I mean, all of this?
No, I didn't,
honey.
[Sirens Continue]
Cledus?
[Cledus]
Talk to me, my boy.
Goddamn it, son,
we gave it our best shot.
I don't like this any more
than you do, but...
we ain't
gonna make it, son.
We're gonna hang it up.
Whoa, negatory! Negatory!
What are you,
crazy or somethin'?
We come this far,
ain't we?
Look, when we say
we gonna do a job,
we do a job!
It's me they're after.
They don't even know
Cledus Snow exists.
Oh, they don't?
Well, I'll tell you
what we're gonna do.
[Laughing]
We just gonna introduce 'em
to the boy.
So move over a little bit,
good buddy, because the Snowman
is comin' through.
Hold on to your ass, Fred.
[Sirens Continue]
[Horn Honking]
Hot damn,
we're gonna make it.
[Sirens Continue]
[Tires Squealing]
[Siren Stops]
[Trooper]
Damn it! Move them vehicles.
We gotta get through there!
Here they come!
[All Cheering]
[Horn Honking]
[Fred Barking]
[Horn Honking]
Daddy, you're about
to have your evenin'
ruined for you.
[Horn Honking]
Okay.
All right.
We're in trouble.
I know we're
in trouble.
What time is it?
[Enos]
One minute after.
Goddamn, we're
10 minutes early.
We're in trouble.
I know we're in trouble.
Look, we need two things.
We need a way out of here.
We need the money.
Well, here's my Cadillac.
That'll leave me with
an even dozen. Good luck, son.
Cledus, get the money.
Yeah,
how about the money?
- How about double or nothin'?
- How about forgettin' it?
Wait a minute.
What about double or nothin'?
You run up to Boston and
bring back some clam chowder
for me and my daddy.
You're on.
Uh, you're on.
- In 18 hours?
- You're still on.
[Laughs]
Y-Y-You're crazy!
And I'm divorced!
[Sirens Wailing]
And you...
Ain't half bad, is it?
[Sirens Continue]
20-to-1 I break
the son of a bitch
this time.
[Sirens Blaring]
Gimme 500
on the Bandit.
Apprehend that horse ass
for reckless drivin'!
But, Daddy, he's...
Do what I tell you,
you pile of monkey nuts!
[Bandit]
Sheriff, uh,
Buford T. Justice, please.
Who there?
This is Bandit Darville
talkin'.
Where are you,
you sombitch?
Before I tell you where I am,
Sheriff, there's just one thing
I wanna say.
You must be part coon dog,
'cause I been chased
by the best of 'em,
and, son, you make 'em look
like they're all runnin'
in slow motion.
I just wanna
say that.
Well, thank you,
Mr. Bandit.
And as the pursuer,
may I say you're
the goddamnedest pursuee
I ever pursued.
Now that the mutual
bullshit is over,
where are you,
you sombitch?
I'm right down at the bottom
of the hill, Sheriff.
I'm 6'8" in a cowboy outfit.
I got a little pygmy standing
beside me dressed just like me.
You can't miss me.
10-4.
Wait a minute.
Scratch that.
Hold it.
I can't lie to you, Sheriff.
You're too good a man.
Look over your left shoulder.
Oof.
We're on our way to Boston to
get some clam chowder. Bye-bye.
No hard feelings,
Junior!
I'm not givin' up!
I'm never gonna give up!
I'll get you,
you sombitch!
Daddy, Daddy, wait for me!
Don't leave me!
Who's gonna hold your hat?
♪ Eastbound and down
Loaded up and truckin' ♪
♪ We gonna do what they say
can't be done ♪
♪ We've got a long way to go ♪
♪ And a short time
to get there ♪
♪ I'm eastbound
Just watch ol' Bandit run ♪
♪ Keep your foot hard
on the pedal ♪
♪ Son, never mind them brakes ♪
♪ Let it all hang out
'cause we got a run to make ♪
♪ Those boys are thirsty
in Atlanta ♪
♪ And there's beer
in Texarkana ♪
♪ And we'll bring it back
No matter what it takes ♪
♪ Eastbound and down
Loaded up and truckin' ♪
♪ We gonna do what they say
can't be done ♪
♪ We've got a long way to go ♪
♪ And a short time
to get there ♪
♪ I'm eastbound
Just watch ol' Bandit run ♪
♪ Old Smokey's
got them ears on ♪
♪ He's hot on your trail ♪
♪ And he ain't gonna rest
till you're in jail ♪
♪ So you got to dodge him
You got to duck him ♪
♪ You've got to keep
that diesel truckin' ♪
♪ Just put that hammer down
and give it hell ♪
♪ Eastbound and down
Loaded up and truckin' ♪
♪ We gonna do what they say
can't be done ♪
♪ We've got a long way to go ♪
♪ And a short time
to get there ♪
♪ I'm eastbound
Just watch ol' Bandit run ♪♪